Had you supped at my house tonight, you surely would have been singing the doxology before you were finished. My red beans and rice was cooked to perfection. Made with a coarsely chopped onion, four cloves of garlic, two cans of red beans, and brown rice, and spiced with black pepper, cayenne, salt, and a few other superb flavors, it was the most perfectly blended ensemble this side of New Orleans. Of course, you wouldn’t have eaten only beans and rice. Something would have been there to cut the spiciness from your tongue. Complementing the beans and rice with its natural, crisp greeness was steamed broccoli. Yes! Steamed broccoli! Already you must think this dinner sounds extraordinary. You must be salivating like a rabbit in a lettuce patch. And your plate’s not full yet. (When I said that, did you piss your pants? I’m sorry if that happened. But it’s not every supper that makes a person break into the doxology, after all, and I can understand such a reaction to awesomeness.) In addition to the beans and rice and the broccoli, on your plate would have been a whole baked sweet potato, slathered in butter, soft to the touch. Add to it all a slice of toast. Now, does that not just blow your mind?
Share
Access
Index
- announcement
- art
- big question
- bourgeois
- confession
- consumer reporting
- cute
- education
- empirical observations
- ethical dilemma
- event
- film
- fine cuisine
- gossip
- health
- hermeneutics
- history
- hope for the future
- Leviathan
- manners
- meaningful labor
- memory
- music
- novels
- performance
- poems
- procrastination
- promises
- psychology
- reading
- revaluation
- review
- solidarity
- The Confessions (St. Augustine)
- stories
- technoia
- The Creation of the American Republic
- The Golden Bowl
- The Human Condition
- The Portrait of a Lady
- the state apparatus
- the sublime
- vive le résistance
- writing
Verily, verily. I myself made a cake for dessert but forgot to put the sugar in. Luckily it is a cheap, simple, and quick cake, so I made another, but still.
I also had steamed broccoli. And egg noodles with butter, oil, and various seasonings.
by Laura—Feb 11, 09:17 PM
indeed, it would’ve had you taken the beans from this
to this 
and not from this 
by Jeremy—Feb 11, 10:47 PM
Once, when my sister was young, she decided to make my father’s birthday cake (from a box, which was the only kind of cake made in our house—yes, cry for me, please). In place of the regular vegetable oil, she used a raunchy bottle of garlic-infused oil. That was not a good chocolate cake.
by kl—Feb 11, 10:47 PM
yes, laura that happens sometimes. :(
the worst cake i’ve ever made in my life was from a box… but that was my own fault, i looked at the picture rather than the words for how much oil (or water, or both, i can’t remember) to add and the cake came out like the shriveled-up, sagging skin of a skinny old man’s behind. it was moist, but the ugliest cake you’ve ever seen.
it wouldn’t‘ve been bad had it not be for the fact that it was for my father-in-law and the charge was… since you bake, will you make the cake.
now the whole family tells the story… did we ever tell you the time that j flubbed a cake!... no, you mean j! yeah, j! he didn’t read the directions.
this saturday i did make a scrumptilious panettone bread pudding… i highly reccommend it (except for those who are watching calories and cholesterol)
by Jeremy—Feb 11, 10:55 PM
now you’re a bean snob? what, I suppose you have time to wait for beans to hydrate every time you want to eat them? you probably smelt copper to make your own cooking pans, too.
3 is awesome, btw.
by greg—Feb 11, 11:00 PM
yeah, when we have beans i start them early… pour the water off twice in the first hour (to control flatulance, mine can be like snorting wasabi at times) and happily boil them away.
in all honesty, it can be annoying, at times.
by Jeremy—Feb 11, 11:06 PM
Snorting wasabi makes you fart?
by greg—Feb 11, 11:23 PM
no, my farts can singe nose hairs and damage tender nerve endings… it is not one of those qualities that t admires in me… though in the repressed environs of hu dorms, i was quite the hero.
by Jeremy—Feb 11, 11:31 PM
Impressive, but my question was unclear: I can think of a lot of ill effects from snorting wasabi, but farting’s not one of them.
by greg—Feb 12, 06:59 AM