I really didn’t think I’d be drag this to the top—I know you guys like to be proper and all, but I got paranoid this morning about Google effect on potential employers and decided to check on my Web profile via some vanity Googling. There are several more prominent me’s out there who knock my presence to Google’s second page, and even then it’s an oblique reference to me through my uncle’s site. It’s unlikely, in other words, that potential employers will know I’m me without in fact knowing I’m me.

In the process, though, I found out that my urological doppëlnomer is an expert in penile implant surgery, and spoke about it to Mother Jones in 1999:

“We open the penis and place two silicone rods, which can inflate and deflate with the touch of a button,” says [me], assistant professor of urology at the University of Chicago Medical Center. “Sensation is not altered at all.” Number of erections: 2,000. “These are men who are pretty motivated. The average patient is 60 and has sex twice a week,” he says. “They can be active another 20 years.” Cost: ”$12,000—lock, stock, and barrel,” [I say] ($6 per erection). Possible side effects: “It hurts like hell for about four weeks,” [I say]. “It’s your dick.” Extra benefits: “You can keep an erection 24 hours a day, if you want.”

Anonymity in ubiquity!

by greg—Mar 20, 09:42 AM

Ah, the wonders of Google. When it came time to pick a domain name, I revelled in my unique name, and blessed my forebears for giving me something zesty and spicy. While I am frequently frustrated by the increasing number of American workers who do not understand that a hyphen is NOT the same as an apostrophe, I am generally glad that my last name isn’t Smith or Jones.

But, as I apply for jobs, I keep thinking that perhaps being James Smith or John Jones might not be such a bad thing.

by GKB—Mar 20, 10:04 AM

Frankly, I wouldn’t have thought there were so many of me out there; of course, all the me’s that are there might prove trouble. There’s one me, mentioned on myspace, that got into a fight—he’s not me, of course, but how would the employer know?

But yes, GKB, you have a special problem: you’ve made a name of your name, and now you can’t undo it. Are you telling potential employers upfront about your site? I’d wager that’s probably the all-around best thing. Laura, who’s been a hardcore activist, set up her site for that very reason: she says she thought it better that potential employers let her explain why she was arrested than that they discover it on their own. I think she’s totally right. But that might be trouble, too, if you’re applying for a job at unabashedly secular institutions where church-affiliation might be a hindrance?

by greg—Mar 20, 10:15 AM

Unabashedly secular institutions don’t have much use for a dude with two degrees in ministry (or so I’m finding). Those fine establishments who do (namely McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Denny’s) generally don’t concern themselves with an employee’s extra-curricular activities.

So yes, I am telling people up-front about my little operation, and I’ve seen hits from those potential employers, but I’ve made the initial cut on both, so maybe there is room in this crazy mized up world for a guy like me :)

by GKB—Mar 20, 10:53 AM

On the plus side, yourname.net is pretty popular and gets a lot of participation from many. circulation, more often than not, can will speak louder than ideas, to those who understand.

by greg—Mar 20, 11:04 AM

On that note, what are you looking for? I seem to remember you mentioning you wanted to mission w/o calling yourself missionary, also meaning that if you’re taking funds, they’re limited, right?

by greg—Mar 20, 11:12 AM

Currently I am seeking ways to “do” ministry in non-ecclesial settings. This is currently being expressed in my applications for two positions at the most left-wing of our CoC schools (I think it still considered one of “ours”) which will serve as an entree into the field of working with older adolescents in an education setting.

by GKB—Mar 20, 11:43 AM

Some people disowned that school (I’m assuming you’re speaking of the one in CA) a long time ago, but that’s not saying a whole lot, IMO. Are you looking to do inner-city work? I’ve a friend, not affiliated with that school, but also with 2 ministry degrees from the same schools as you, teaching history in LA. He might be one to connect with sometime anyway…

by greg—Mar 20, 11:50 AM

I am not sure what I am looking to do. Both of the jobs I applied for provided housing on campus, and were in the realm of student life. Sadly, or perhaps less sadly since we humans have a tendency to experience more angst when presented with choices, I received, not two minutes ago, electronic notification that someone other than me will be filling one of the positions.

I know I will wind up serving in some sort of ministry, be it in a church setting or some para-church setting, but I know not what form that will take. I am hoping and praying, and enlisting the help of friends and family, that the Lord will “go Jabez” on me and expand my territory to include lands beyond Abilene. Getting out of Texas would be a big, big plus right now.

by GKB—Mar 20, 04:49 PM

D’oh! I’m sorry to hear you got beat out of the one job; fingers-crossed on t’other… I’ve little else to add except that I know very well the feeling of having a general idea of what direction you want to go, but not quite knowing where that direction will take you. Hell, I’m living that, now. Q. How does SKB fit into the GKB job hunt?

PS. amen to the “getting out of.” We’re sweating Iowa these days.

by greg—Mar 20, 04:59 PM

Ah, SKB…she wants to go back to school, but isn’t sure what she wants to study. But, trooper that she is, she’s willing to work in yet another meaningless, menial job for a year or two to put enough money away to help pay for her schooling. McDonald’s tuition assistance plan sucks, I’ll bet.

So, if anyone has any advice for me to pass on to SKB concerning which education field will help her find employment in the humanitarian aid/non-profit/UNICEF sort of world, I would be extremely grateful.

If PU #2 doesn’t work out, we’re looking to both find menial, meaningless jobs in Boston, which will allow us to work with the Brookline church up there. And attend games at Fenway.

by GKB—Mar 20, 10:36 PM

For nonprofits—especially int’l ones—I’ll tell you what K’s learned in her job search: law, law, and law. She can talk to it better (I’m sure she’ll add what else she can when she reads this) because she’s been looking at them more than I, but one thing Oxfam, Human Rights Watch, Amnesty, et al always want is lawyers. What they don’t want, however, is literary critics.

I hear Brookline is dreamy—one of the few truly dreamy ones out there…

by greg—Mar 20, 10:45 PM

Brookline is indeed dreamy. We flew up there shortly before Christmas and took in the city and the church folk. I guess I should have mentioned that any stops in Malibu would have been with the end goal of Beantown in mind. It was a way to gain experience in the world of student life, without a background in counseling. I was hoping to use that experience to get in the door somewhere in Boston.

I can say that now that the application was unsuccessful, can’t I?

by GKB—Mar 20, 11:12 PM

So long as you swear it meets the established standard of failed/unsuccessful applications, then, yes, it was unsuccessful. :(

by greg—Mar 20, 11:42 PM

Well, do phone interviews count?

Since nothing is invested in a phone interview, other than the caller’s long distance bill, I am inclined to say that they don’t count, in which case my application(s) was/were unsuccessful…

by GKB—Mar 21, 12:12 AM

To be quite honest, I never really thought that definition fair. I was shamed into accepting it, although I must admit that it’s mostly right. Still, I think there can be cases, such as those most perfuctory of phone interviews, where they don’t truly represent a successful app, but rather a lousy job search. But no two phone interviews are alike: e.g., I had 2 last week which, if I am hired, will likely have been my whole contact with the organization. So… it depends on the interview.

by greg—Mar 21, 07:46 AM

Ah, following on from that post you linked to…

Why is it that EVERY job in the known universe (or so it appears) requires individuals to work well independently, but as part of a team?

I am all for honesty when it comes to phone interviews. I wish the guy on the other end of the line had just said, “Listen, we already have our friend lined up for this job, but protocol says we have to interview five people, and you’re number three. So, let’s just chat a bit, and we’ll both know that this is going nowhere.” That would have been AWESOME!

by GKB—Mar 21, 08:27 AM

Word to that. Those phone interviews—well, every interview—where they show they haven’t read your letter or your resume, are so… [shameless attempt to pull this back into the gutter] emasculating. :)

by greg—Mar 21, 09:02 AM