Our guard fell asleep on his watch last night and allowed a serious breach to occur. We think nothing of value was taken, but to be safe several items of sentimental and/or sensitive nature have been moved. We were also required to make several unhappy changes. We hope both measures are temporary; however, if we find anything further is compromised, we will take permanent action. The guard has been soundly reprimanded and next week will take a course in sensitivity training. We expect he won’t let this happen again.

Sincerely,

The Hermits

P.S. Because of the nature of the breach, there will be no further public comment about it. If you have questions, you know how to reach us.