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The Frozen Sperm of L. Ron Hubbard

Except for the fact that Suri Cruise is gorgeous and as such so obviously the offspring of Tom and Katie, the speculation is still brilliant:

Author Andrew Morton says some followers [of Scientology] have speculated that [Tom Cruise’s] daughter Suri may have been fathered using frozen sperm from its founder L. Ron Hubbard.

(For photographic comparison of possible parentage, here’s L. Ron Hubbard.)



Yes! That would explain her eyebrows…

And they obviously dye her hair black (to hide that telling LRH red)…I’m sold.

Didn’t I tell you to quit smoking crack? No way they dye her hair!

The fact that today, HR received 3 hits from searches for “l ron hubbard sperm” = Success!