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Bottoms Up

This post, and the ensuing half-millennium discussion at Unfogged reminds me of a summer long ago.

At thirteen I was soft and pudgy. The second and last year I played little league my gut folded over the waist of my Dairy Queen uniform, not as much as Tommy Lasorda’s, but enough. (That year I received my first, and hopefully last, OSHA injury. My swing was so bad I threw out my back, which, at twelve, is just pathetic.)

I spent my days reading rather than running, and I loved to eat two, three, a box of Little Debbie™ Oatmeal Creme Pies at a sitting. This worried mom. She had an inactive—no, lazy boy on her hands, and she had to find a way to get him moving.

So she signed me up for an aerobics class.

It was a special class for kids, but I don’t remember knowing anyone else in it. It ran for a month and was two days a week in the gym of the community center, which had windows into which the local boys probably stared and laughed. The aerobicizing music was generally 1960s pop songs.

Toward the end, the aerobics instructor introduced us to a new song and routine and called it the crown of the class. The song? Brian Hyland’s Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. What I remember most is the dance we did for it: squat, put your hands on the floor, push your ass in the air and bounce it three times; stand, twirl; squat again. Over and over we did it. Over, and over, and over, and over we did it.

By the end of the class, I neither weighed less nor wanted to do anything but read and eat Little Debbies. I did have a bit more stamina, but I’m certain that I killed it by the end of the summer.

 

Comments

This is an aside that just doesn’t fit with millions and billions so i put it here:

jeff sessions is a homer of hugantic proportions. i caught a large part of his time at the alito hearings this afternoon, and for ten minutes he said to alito, “mr. judge, sir, can i have your very distinguished autograph?” and continued, “i’d very much like to be a judge when i grow up. what do i have to do to become like you?”

i suspect all the R’s are being like that, but his was the only questioning i’ve heard besides biden’s, who’s obnoxious in his own, self-satisfied way.

Ok, after hearing more about yesterday’s hearings, I was wrong to single out Mr. Sessions. All the pachyderms on the senate judiciary are being homers. It’s to be expected—it’s the opposition party’s job to keep the power-party honest; but I wish they could imagine lines of questioning that at least pretended to be substantial. This fawning “Why don’t you tell us how your breakfast tasted?” stuff is undignified. What a more substantial line might be I’m not sure…

true they all came off as tools.

question. since you are the politcal junky/pundit, should these hearings even be held?

They don’t do much besides reveal what we already know/to be expected, do they? I think they make for interesting political theater, rife with sophisticated rhetorical dodges and parries, and for that reason they’re fun, and maddening to watch. But what a nominee says or doesn’t say matters very little when the majority is determined to confirm. The voyeur in me says keep ‘em; the pragmatist in me says it doesn’t matter.

except that they get expensive.

Well, if expense is your criteria, then let’s expunge stuff from the budget that really costs a lot: say war, for example.

touche

Greg’s comment reminds me of a class I took in college that I stayed in solely b/c I was the only girl and didn’t want there to be an economics class at my college with no girls. Anyway, one of our projects was to evaluate a very scaled-down version of the federal budget. I kept asking why we spent so much on the military, while other people were saying things like, “Look! We could cut one-fourth of one percent by eliminating welfare!” and similar.

see that is precisely the problem with liberals and girls…they don’t want us to fight…when we know that we (men, who else?) are all wild at heart and made for fighting! :)

When you want everything, and can argue that it’s all important for continued “dominance,” mostly because you can (regardless of whether it truly anticipates real 21st century threat), then you find justification for any military spending you want.

to quote a quotable movie…

peacemongers!!!

and with that i have to finish getting ready for class.

Monger? I’ll gladly donate peace to anyone who wants it.