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This will be a surprise to no one, I’m sure

Your “Do You Want the Terrorists to Win” Score: 100%

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, “blame America first”-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such clearly desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
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Comments

I’m 85%. Do I pass the litmus test?

Which questions did you answer incorrectly, JH?

:)

85% of them.

The other 15% matter more.

I don’t know what they are. I felt like I was giving the “right” answers on each one, so I don’t know which questions make up that 15% that aligned me with our emergent fascist government.

Woo-hoo! I scored 98%! Fortunately, I only have to worry about Egyptian state security and Mossad operatives tapping my line here, but I don’t think anyone’s too interested in how many times I ordered pizza last week.

It’s not much, JH, but it’s clear something innate in you has you rooting against the terrorists. So I’m putting you on notice: 15% for freedom is 15% suspect.

On to the weightier matters of 6: how’s it even possible to get 98%?

despite not having voted and not knowing who limbaugh is… i am a patriot who does what limbaugh tells me to and votes only for a bush ticket.

some questions obviously don’t count!

What was your percentage? I tried that tack and got 0%.

100%!

Liberty.

Equality.

Fraternity.

9%

of course, i still use freedom fries everytime i drive through mikeyD’s and i specify that they be american cows, most definitely not kanuck cattle nor wetback cattle…pure, genetically modified corn-fed angus

Obviously the answers are weighted or you “hunnerd-percenters” blew the curve somehow. I suspect it was my “I didn’t vote” response that got docked 2%. Maybe I should care more.

Giving American-born terrorists living in terrorist countries a vote is what absentee ballots are for, Marty.

11: Just so long as you don’t specify the meatpatty came from a single cow. Because you know they can’t do that.

can i ask that they limit the fly and roach particulate in my all-american calorie fest?

Your local franchise can guarantee that the flies and roaches not come from the franchise in particular but can make no assurances about the corporation in the aggregate.

96%
Not bad. The other four must be due to the government job and the stealthy brain-washing tactics. I should probably take this test once every 6 months for check up.

The government’s brain-washing tactics are stealthy?

That’s exactly what they want you to ask, Greg. So how sneaky they are!

I see! That is indeed stealthy.

I think the Jews did it.

I don’t really think the Jews did it!

you said it!

and that is not the excuse de jour… it’s i was drunk!... but that doesn’t help either… alcohol is a truth serum… unless you’re horny, then it’s something else all together.

but, in the end, the republicans will reinstate you into your position of leadership… after all, it was only the jews you insulted, and i am sure that there is plenty of that going on sotto voce among the republicans at the moment.

And I am sure there isn’t that much.

I am also a 100% freedom hater, as we call the terrorists out here in the West.

Any day now the locals will be racing up to the library, torches in hand, yelling “Burn the witch!”

i should say,

the you said it! should be read, not as yeah! you said it! you’re right! but as you said it! you can’t backdown now!

and, as all my references in that were old, i am, after all, way out of date, and have nothing to do with secretary of defense but with lobbyists and the once very powerful hammer and all that

Is there a Hermit retreat today, somewhere deep in the woods, where there is no internet?

Didn’t you get the memo?

My secretary is worthless.