Hermits Rock

Go to content Go to navigation


I suspect—well, I hope—there’s a stalker phase that a lot people—a lot of young men, anyway—go through. I hope because I did my share of desperate drivebys in high school and because I would love my misery to have company. The stalking is a confrontation with the mystery of love, not to say with love itself; for some it lasts longer than others.

When I was in college, my roommate had a girlfriend who always needed to know where he was. Her phone calls were like clockwork—after class I’m sure, and if he wasn’t in our room, she took to calling all of his friends’ rooms to discover where he was. It wasn’t long before I stopped answering the telephone, and it wasn’t much longer before I could sense when it was her or not, and answered the phone selectively. One day I came back after running to find the telephone ringing. I checked the messages: she’d left ten already. I then turned off the machine and got in the shower. She kept calling. Because I had turned off the machine, the phone kept ringing. I got out of the shower. It was still ringing. Finally, after I put my clothes on, I answered the phone. “Is G— there?”


“Okay! I’ll call back later!”

I have since been on the receiving end of a similar relationship, though in this case it was with someone who was in no way my lover.

The question, though, is this: did the fact that she was his girlfriend make her less of a stalker?

Of course, the entire pretext to this post is to discuss something else, to which there must be no links and definitely no naming of names. Simple pronouns, “he” and “she” will suffice.



It would depend on the motivation of the calls. I have witnessed relationships where if one person can’t reach the other, they immediately start imagining disaster scenarios, “she’s hurt” “she’s kidnapped” “she’s dead,” etc. This particular case I’m talking about was not even romantic, it was parent-child. In this case, it’s not stalking, it’s just neuroticism. In the case you cited, it’s about surveillance and control (I’ve read too much Foucault). Thus, it’s stalking.

Man, I can’t wait until I can take off this fake handlebar mustache and monocle. “She” is starting to get on my nerves. But I can’t stay mad at her any longer than I can at a dog who shits on the carpet. She’s very ill, and knows not what she does.

It’s been a long time, Jehosophat!

I sympathize with his plight, and I think his silence is the right action. Still, I wonder what it was he did or wrote that caused her to fixate so? Was it his rage? I also wonder whether does this to every blogger she stumbles across, or just the special ones? If so, wouldn’t she serve her time better by hanging out on Facebook?

I must say, too, it’s a weird thing to watch. A little discomfiting; a little fascinating. Kind of like rubbernecking a train wreck. And I keep looking to see if there’s anything new.

You liberals, whenever we’re attacked you always wonder how it’s our fault.

He wasn’t enraged at all, at least that’s not how he was trying to come across. He was trying to be aloof and cold. At least he was in the comments section…as for the blog in general…well, there’s rage enough to be found there. It’s mostly an act, but she certainly couldn’t grasp that.

Anyway, he has a history of attracting the crazy ones, unfortunately.

Oh come on. He had to have done something. People don’t just fixate for no reason. I’m not saying “blame the victim”—he wasn’t wearing a sexy red dress or anything—but she didn’t just browse right over, open the comments, and say “Hi! Do I know you?” Or did she? When did she start reading, anyway? Did she read past the first page?

Anyway, it was the blog’s rage to which I was referring, particularly that post’s. I wondered if she might have found in it something approaching herself. Or did she see through to the cuddly puppy inside?

There were other crazy ones? Do tell!

He’s not sure when she started reading, but he’s pretty sure she found her way over there yesterday from the good professor’s blog. She has poked around a bit through the archives.

Your theory is as good as any I can think of, aside from my mystical crazy women mojo. I’ll say no more about her predecesors, except to say that all sane women are alike*, but every crazy woman is crazy in her own way.

*I don’t really mean that.

24! He is such a tease.

Well, this really makes it all the more interesting. Do you read it as I do, Jehosophat, that she asked the good professor about him in particular?

In hindsight it appears to have been a very good decision to remove the photo off himself from his banner.

His girlfriend made him take the photo down. Believe it or not, she was afraid he might attract a female stalker.

Her IP has been banned. He figured out a way to get wordpress to mark comments from certain IPs as spam. So that’s the end of that. He hopes.

And yes, I had a sinking feeling that she was emailing the prof to find out his identity.

Jehosophat Humper saves the day!

It might be good for Jehosophat to hang around a bit, in case she starts following links.

I was thinking the exact same thing.

somewhere in his youth or childhood, he must’ve done something bad!

it’s been a while since i’ve been over there, mainly because it’s only been in the last few days that i’ve back on frittering… but, WoW

i’m now going to have to visit the good professor.

J, you sexy young prof, you are the preeminent stalkee. If that impresses you, then I know I must have a doozy on my hands.

The banning worked. She is still firing away, but they are all dropping straight into the “waiting to be moderated” basket. Hooray!

Is it wrong to want know what she’s saying now?

It’s not wrong. I could have set it up so that I wouldn’t even be aware she was sending stuff. But I didn’t.

It’s more of the same though, not interesting at all…but she doesn’t seem to realize she’s been banned yet.

Be sure to give us a total before you’re out for the night. I’m fascinated to know how many comments she’ll contribute before she tires.

Humper, I wanted to so badly to comment on this matter yesterday at your site but quickly reached y’all’s collective wisdom to not encourage it. I wonder if this is illness or a phony effort to screw with you or a cagey effort to disrupt dialogue. It’s chilling, no kidding.

The professor always has had a curious reputation as sexist. I was in many classes and knew many women who thought so and felt demeaned in his courses. From time to time I could see glimpses of their concern, although I believe sincerely that they are misplaced. All that to wonder about another motivation: bitterness about perceived indignity in class boiling over after leaving his academy.

That, of course, doesn’t explain Humper’s problem, unless he bit her at the academy, too.

I confess to the desire to see more, but you have good reasons.

JRB, the good professor has filled me in on background information via email, and she is indeed for real, and certainly mentally ill. I think her freshman year coincided with my senior year, and we thankfully never met during that time.

Thanks for picking up on the vibe and not commenting over there. She’s banned from commenting now, but I still don’t want her to come up over there ever again. I want to move on; and it’s mean to mess with her anyway. Redacted: Blog Secret. I can [safely] doff the costume, now.

Yes, Jehosophat Humper, you can safely remove the mask.

And these parts have been somewhat secured, too, from prying eyes. No guarantees, however, if those eyes go to coffee shops with free WiFi.

I’ve have yet to be pumped for information about identities; even then, it would not be forthcoming.

You can’t imagine what its like (or maybe you can) to have to deal with this in person. And I consider myself one of the lucky ones on campus. Imagine a 1957 Chevy running lose through a museum and leaving a trail of broken classical art in its wake. And the Chevy logo on the car is mis-spelled. That’s what it was like.

Ah! One conspiracy was much more elaborate than the actual facts of the case.

Anyway, I can imagine that, ME, but I suspect the reality is even more harrowing than my imagination. I mean, classrooms are intense enough; add that…

She’s still going, but only half a dozen comments a day now.

“U have green eyes and a sexsy southern draw. U are tall and J is most likly your birth Dad name. Trus me i know u more then u think”

Ok, that’s actually kind of disturbing.

Which of course brings us to the most important question: How sexsy is your southern draw, green eyes?

My southern draw is pretty much non-existent. My green eyes, I leave to others to judge.

I think everything she said there she could have figured out by checking the google cache of my page, and by the remark I made on ME’s page recently that I’m from Alabama. As for the “birth Dad name”...I have no idea what that means.

No more posts here but about 1-2 hours of lurking last night (research perhaps?) Weirder and weirder.

Here’s another gem:

“Articulacy and the ablility to express yourself in writing is not somthing u acquire in higer learning edu u only sharpen it. U either have it or u dont.”

Well said, violet. Well said.

26 is awesome.

And she had the cojones to tell me “their are things that are beyond the understanding of people with low I.Q like u.” That hurt a little, V. Just a little.