Hermits Rock

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Household Duties

Something you didn’t know about me is that I have structured my household along a strict classical model. The hierachy of my household proceeds thus: I am of course first. As paterfamilias, I have dominion over all creatures in my care. Second are firstborn sons, who will inherit my wealth, and all other sons by order of birth are third; wives and concubines, who bear my children, come fourth; daughters, household pets, and slaves are of a kind; and service livestock; and beneath them all other miscellaneous animals. Such anyway is the ideal hierarchy. My household is yet small, however, with neither sons, nor daughters, nor slaves, nor livestock, nor miscellaneous creatures. So it is that my wife and my pets take their places knowing full well that they fit into a much larger order. Knowing their places makes them happy. Knowing their places also supplies them their duties. My wife, for example, works tirelessly to bear me a son to be my heir. In addition, because we have neither slaves nor daughters, she maintains the household’s everyday activities: not only does she maintain the shrine of our household god but also she satiates my every appetite. Likewise my pets exist to please me, as Mr. Bingley, who is curled softly in my lap, does now.

 

Comments

Don’t everyone approve at once!

didn’t i flush your crack down the toilet last week?

I’ve got stashes you don’t know about, obvs.

I found it fairly humorous.

It’s a good idea, no?

I think you’re still just trying to appease your AR relatives. Nice try.

the final image is quite disturbing…

6: Alas! If my AR relatives had any clue the lengths to which I go to make them happy.

7: Would it be less so if I told you I was naked when I wrote it?

Gosh, it must be great being near the top of the great chain of being.

I’m just surprised you have the willpower to stash crack.

Will to stash proves my place in the hierarchy, obvs.

Abbrevs. also prove yr. superiority, obvs.

im in ur dxnery, shortnin ur w0rdz