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Conversation with a Job

Um. Hi. It’s me. How are you?

I’m fine. Look—I’m sorry to bother you. Are you busy? If so, I’ll—no? That’s good. I thought maybe… Well. Anyway, why did I call? Right! I just wanted to ask. You didn’t try to call yesterday, did you? Because yesterday was crazy. I was on the phone dawn to dusk. I tried to get off, just in case, but one thing led to another, you know.

You didn’t. Well, I just wanted to make sure.

I’ve been okay.

I know! Two weeks! Can you believe how time flies? Two weeks!

Nothing much. When I thought you were going to—well… never mind.

It’s nothing. I just thought you were going to call sooner.

I know you didn’t make any promises. You don’t have to tell me that. It’s just… I thought everything was going so well last time we talked. You seemed so interested.

Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Seriously. It’s unkind.

Then why didn’t you call?

I see. Well, I just thought. You called all my references.

Yes, two phone interviews. And don’t forget the writing test! That was a hummer, let me tell you. Did you have a chance to look at it yet?

Right! I understand.

Things are okay here. I walked off a job last week.

Because of you? Of course it wasn’t because of you. Why would I quit a job because of you? Don’t be silly. It was temp work. You didn’t promise anything. Ha. Because of you. I never…

It was tedious! You never saw a worse training. Thirty people walking back and forth across acres. The guy in charge couldn’t be heard. Plus, his mole! It was distracting.

No, I didn’t quit because of the mole. That’s what I like about you! Always full of ideas. Anyway, why I quit isn’t important. What matters is you! How have you been?

Things do come up, don’t they?

What? Oh. Sure. I understand.

It was good talking to you, too!

Wait—I just thought of something I wanted to ask. It’s quick.

I understand. I just wanted to know, why are you still running your ad?

Standard procedure? That makes sense. So you’re not accepting… ?

Right. You shouldn’t talk about that now. Okay, okay. Disclosure and all.

I need to go, too.

You, too. Talk to you soon?

Right. Talk to you soon!



sorry to hear about that

I should note that this conversation has only happened in my head.

OT: my neighbor’s car just got towed for street sweeping day. I had a mind to ring her doorbell and remind her she was parked wrong, but there was only a ten minute window between my waking and her towing. It’s true she should have known there was no parking here today. Nevertheless, I feel bad for her: I’ve had my car towed before. It’s not nice. Should I have hurried?

J, I thought you had left us for PR already?

Also: let this comment thread stand in as opportunity to hear about the prospects of one psychologist and the critic he’s married to. We’ll also accept a fullon post from said psychologist. Will he be un/employed next year is the burning question!!!

or shall we say employed as full-time parent and runner of the house? there’s no lack of work there…

K’s amendment & extension is more apt. I second it.

magic 8 ball says, “Ask again Friday.”

It’s Friday, sucka(s)! Spill us some beans!

One other thing, related, to add: friend and reader Laura this month started a new job as a librarian in Meeteetse, Wyoming; she offers a fascinating chronology of a day in the life of a smalltown librarian on lis.dom.

UPDATE: I made the call today. The boss has been out of town, fundraising; my primary contact said he’d try to corner her this week, before Thursday. Whether that’s good or bad, it’s hard to say, but my contact seemed pleased to talk to me anyway. I read no trepidation in his voice…

UPDATE 2: Call this afternoon. “If you were to fly here, what airport would you fly out of?” Then, “I’ll call you back next week.”

so, is that a trick question, as well.

do they want to see if you are aware of the airports in the area and the relationship between airports and perchlorate contamination? (second question) sorry, 3rd question


oh no! i hadn’t thought of that!!

Damn. What if they wanted me to say, “I don’t fly—it consumes too many resources and poisons too many cattle.” How would I recover from that blunder, if indeed it were a blunder?!?

inform them that if they give you a month advanced notice you will ride a bike out to the interview…

and, that if they give you two months, you could take soil samples along the way.

If I am flying there, then I’ve gotta upgrade my wardrobe from shabby to respectable supafast.